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Dog days

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My girlfriend has a big dog that really scares me. She tells me that the dog has never bitten anyone and is very friendly, but Iíve been afraid of dogs for as long as I can remember. This is becoming a bit of an issue between us and I am reluctant to go to her place because of the dog. She is starting to wonder why I never come around. Is there anything I can do about this?

-- Dog Fright

Dear Dog Fright,

It sounds like youíve never leveled with your girlfriend about your longtime fear of dogs. You should talk to her about it and explain that youíre still scared. Perhaps she will leash the dog the next few times youíre there, so you can get used to her dog and the dog can get used to you. If indeed it is just a big friendly dog, youíll be surprised at how soon you might be able to become friends. This might also go a long way in helping you overcome your fear of dogs. Talk to her about it and take it slow getting closer to the dog.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My mother and I are very close. She is a very good-looking 38, and Iím 20. Sheís been going out with this guy for a few months, and recently, we were all sitting around drinking and got kind of drunk. She went off to her room to lie down for a while, and her boyfriend and I starting messing around. It wasnít long before we were both naked and having sex.

My mother finally came out of her room and even though she wasnít around when any of this was going on, Iím pretty certain she knew what was happening. She now often makes it a point for me to be around when heís over, and she goes to her room for extended periods of time. We have done it again one other time, and the problem is that I like it too. What should I do?

--A Little Confused

Dear a little confused,

Stop it.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I met a wonderful woman and Iím very interested in going out with her. We are both 24, and I believe sheís interested in me as well. The problem is my parents. We are Chinese and they do not approve of me seeing this woman because she is Korean. I know that it sounds crazy Ė weíre both Asian-American, but my parents are subject to a lot of the old prejudices. I am tempted to try to see her on the sly, but I know that if my parents find out, they will be very upset. I just donít know what to do. Please help!


Dear Stuck,

You are 24 years old and have to make some decisions about who you want to please, because you canít please everyone. If you wish to continue to please your parents, accept that youíll never be free of their control and influence. However, if you want to live a life where you please yourself, you have to get up the nerve to defy them on this. If youíre certain that their disapproval is based in ethnic prejudice, going along with it will only limit your romantic possibilities to Chinese girls. You are an adult and wish to live a freer life. Make your move and, hopefully, if they see that you are happy, they will learn to accept your choices. It may even open them up a little bit.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net

Issue Date: July 11 - July 17, 2003
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